STUFF WE DO FOR GIRLFRIENDS….
It occurred to me as I was rushing this morning at 7 am to my BFF’s house, to provide emotional support for her during a heated financial “discussion” with her ex-husband, all the things we just “do” when asked. We cancel appointments; take time off of work; slip into small, mirrored, badly lit dressing rooms to give honest critiques; loan our best clothes; tell the truth - no matter what.
When called upon we “just do it”, even when we don’t want to, because that’s just what women do for women. We lie, fabricate, pretend, tread where other do not dare. We become warriors for each other – warning others “not to go there.” We share yucky secrets (the one’s we can barely put into words), like that one-night stand we’ d really rather forget. We hold each other’s hands during scary biopsies, and sit for hours in divorce courts. We drive to colonoscopies, plastic surgeons, pediatricians, ex mother in laws — but mostly, we listen. We learn to recognize the small shifts in each other’s voices that tell us it’s time for a lunch or a drink or a long phone conversation, even if it’s the same conversation we’ve been having for years. We simply LISTEN – and we never, ever bring it up again, no matter what. We tell each other the hard stuff like “you’re drinking too much,” “you need to lose a few pounds,” “take my hair appointment, you need a trim,” “I ran into your boyfriend where he shouldn’t have been.”
And we love each other fiercely, instinctively and often longer than many marriages.
LONG LIVE GIRLFRIENDS!!!!!
BIO:
Patti Hawn is author of GOOD GIRLS DON’T a deeply personal first-hand account of what it was like to be trapped in an unwanted pregnancy at the close of an era where home economics took precedence over sex education. I gave up my child for adoption —-found him 40 years later…but this is where the typical adoption story begins…and ends. My book is available on Amazon and www.goodgirlsdontbook.com.
Patti Hawn Patti Hawn has worked on over thirty major motion pictures including some of the most acclaimed films of the last decade. Her credits include Ghost, Glory, Overboard, and most recently, August Rush and Bride Wars.
Patti makes her debut literary effort with her memoir, GOOD GIRLS DON’T, that tells the story of the last generation of young women to experience life on the eve of the sexual revolution of the sixties and the passing of legislation legalizing abortion. It is a unique time in history, foreign to an entire generation of women, that resulted in an incredible number of reunions between birth parents and their children — 20, 30 and 40 years after.
Patti is the sister of the acclaimed actress Goldie Hawn. She resides in Manhattan Beach, California with her husband and travels to India, Nepal and Thailand where she works in humanitarian efforts.
This is a great tribute to girlfriends and a woman’s love, Patty! Thank you for your words and reminders!
The greatest gift of friendship I was honored to be part of was sharing time every Thursday for several months with my cousin, Edie, as she fought her battle with breast cancer, just because. I’ll always remember the phone call. And I will always remember her telling me that she wanted me to be with her as often as I could. I had just started a new job, and just told my employer I would need off every Thursday and that was that! Edie wanted to feel my presence and my love, just to sit with her, hold her hand, or look her in the eye and smile. I cared for her children, bearing pots of homemade soup, and yummy treats. I played with her horses when she could no longer do the chores. I always arrived in perfect timing. For me, that gift of friendship keeps on giving.
It is a love I’ll never forget. A kindred bond women share can only be felt. Our friendship bridges worlds. Long live a girlfriend’s love!
Dear Patti -
Just a wonderful, wonderful post. Thanks.
One thing you left out.
When we give a girlfriend advice, we never never get mad when they don’t take it.
And most of us never say, “I told you so.”
Men expect you to act immediately. And get mad when you don’t.
Never ask a man for advice unless he is your financial planner.
Corinne Edwards recently posted..ARE WE SPIRITUAL YET? – Sabotage and Happiness – in Paperback and Kindle
Great reminder of how valuable our women-friendships are! to the point of many of them lasting longer than marriages. It is nice to have someone close by to be there at times when no one else would understand. The beauty is that even when separated by job’s demands, those friendships continue to grow. Such as a wonderful friend I met while we both lived in Brussels. We became like sisters from the first moment. She lives now in So.Korea and I in Virginia, for the moment. I have done crazy things to be awake and talk with her over the phone, just to hear her voice! We have supported each other as we moved to different cultures and made the transition easier. You are helping so many women, Patty, by writing about this important subject and by reminding us that there are women out there who love and care for us, just because . . .Thanks to Nancy for publishing it on her blog. What a great friend you have in her!!!!
Delmy recently posted..Positive Perspectives While Living Abroad
Yes, we women are wonderful at this. I need to do this more with a dear friend I miss seeing and talking to. I love women for this ability to just be there when it’s time.
Julieanne Case
Always from the heart!
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How lovely to have friends …girlfriends who will drop everything to come to you when in need. I loved all the situations you describe and I have a feeling you have a lot of girlfriends. I’m sure also that you are precious to them. I agree that to know you can have that kind or support is comforting…I miss Quebec sometimes as my family and friends are there…Maybe I have not tried enough to branch out here in Connecticut…
Nathalie Villeneuve recently posted..Avoid Self Criticism
@Nathalie Villeneuve thanks for your reply Nathalie….keep trying – the right girlfriends always show up at the right time…
@Julieanne Case
Thanks Julieanne – great story – so inspiring.
@Julieanne Case
Thanks for the response Julieanne – it’s wonderful to know i’ve hit a chord…
@Corinne Edwards Thanks for your response Corinne – and – your lovely story….lovely to connect!!!
There’s nothing like girlfriends. Love this tribute to the
wonderful and unique friendships we offer each other.
Patti – your words made me get up and call an old friend – the one who was there for me in all the ways you described – years ago. Our paths crossed at the perfect time as we traveled a rocky path together . . . arm-in-arm . . . as both of us were going through divorces. The cord of friendship is always there, even though we now live miles apart. Thank you for the reminder, acknowledgement and inspiration these beautiful friendships are.
The way you describe girlfriends in your post explains why I have way more girlfriends than boyfriends. So many things so true. It doesn’t explain the difference between girlfriends and mothers and wives. Why do girlfriends morph into at times altogether different people when not with their girlfriends? Many attempts have been made to understand, some more successful than others, but at the end of the day we’re left wondering. Then again, that someone up there has a great sense of humor, we’ve known for a long time :-]
- Beat
Beat Schindler recently posted..Dream A Little Dream For You
Hi Patti and Nancy,
Thank you for sharing Patti. Girl friends are someone that is always there. And when we need to talk they know just the right questions to ask.
Thanks again and blessing to you for sharing,
Debbie
Debbie recently posted..What You Can Do To Be Happy Right Now In Your Relationship
Interesting observation….Have you ever noticed that when women relate to one another it’s face to face….and men usually are shoulder to shoulder….jus sayin’
Brought a tear to my eye it’s so true. My best friend lives on the other side of the country and I would hop on a plane in a moments notice if she needed me.
Kari recently posted..Living in the Moment – A Few Lessons I’ve Learned
Oh, definitely! You’ve got it so right. My best friend has been dealt a really unfair hand. Her husband killed himself and left her with 2 kids. She has to watch the pennies, her new boyfriend wasn’t who she thought he was and her kids get ill quite a lot. I always listen to her because I know how much just an ear means to her.
Listening is a skill we can all develop. It’s not hard to do. It’s cheap therapy we can all give to one another, and you’re right. It is a gift.
Anne recently posted..What Is Confidence
That was meant for the listening post. I don’t know how it got here, but hey, it kinda fits too.
Sorry about that.
Anne recently posted..Body Confidence In Easy Steps
A true to life article! Women’s friendships are really priceless and what more if you find the real friends in town. Sharing secrets has always been so good with girlfriends and you can definitely count on them saying to you whether you look good or not on your dress or shoes. I love my girlfriends!
Thanks for this awesome article. 
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