Paul Boese, a botanist who lived in the late 1600s early 1700s once stated, “Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future.” I pondered on this quote, and the more I pondered the more aware of his words and meaning.

To forgive is not to forget, but forgiveness is the first step in healing ourselves.  We have to start somewhere.  Forgive someone that has wronged us, not due to the fact they deserve to be forgiven but only because we love ourselves so much that we don’t need to keep carrying the un-forgiveness baggage around.  Believe me it truly weighs you down.  How many people do you know including yourself that carry this heavy burden around all day and night with them?  They are the ones that have the bitter faces because they don’t know how to forgive another for their injustice to them.

To forgive means to heal.  Healing ourselves is the way to wholeness.  To be the best person we can be for ourselves first.  To forgive is to be noble.  I often state to people when I speak of forgiveness – “If our Creator has forgiven us so many times over for our failings, how can we be more powerful and Omni-potent than HIM and not forgive our fellow man.”  By not forgiving we make ourselves larger than life and larger than our Creator.  Believe me we are not that BIG my friends.

Forgive because we LOVE ourselves!

Learn then to forgive, you will get rid of so much weight and excess baggage off your shoulders and in your heart; but don’t forgive haphazardly, forgive with your whole heart – mean it – say it – you will release so much and not only that you will feel empowered!  Forgive your parents, your brothers, sisters, friends, forgive GOD!  Forgive yourself for all your mishaps and failings – acceptance will begin at that time.  So take the time to write that letter to someone that has wronged you, or make the phone call to let them know that they are forgiven.  It’s a beautiful thing and so much joy will be awaiting you.

The acceptance and love of self is to forgive.

You will definitely know when you have forgiven someone – when you see the person or a picture of them and it does not cause any emotional reactions.  Believe me its freeing – it’s an emotional release – it’s so healing and it moves you to a place of peace.  Going back to that quote from Paul Boese, our past cannot be changed, but surely our futures can be enlarged by the choices we make and my only hope is that someone can read this and it may stir a change in them in a way that they will either forgive someone or ask for forgiveness from someone in their life.

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all!

JOY, encouragement, forgiveness, inspiration, motivation encouragement, forgiveness, inspiration, motivation

There are 3 things that we know for sure about life:  it has a beginning, it will end some day, and we should make the most of it while in between.

It’s the gap – the in between that I want to write about today.

This is what I call the GAP – the place between 2 places.

How are you living in the gap? 

Are you living in a timid place full of fear?

-or-

Are you living in JOY full of laughter and peace?

To fully live life out loud means to smell the roses, enjoy the view, take the opportunity to meet and smile at a stranger and truly touch a life for that moment in time.

Sometimes we take life so seriously that we forget to exhale.  We run from one place to the next place and forget where we’ve been.  RUSH, FAST, HURRY is part of our vocabulary.  We don’t make time for ourselves because we’re too busy taking care of everyone else.  We even think it’s selfish to make time for ourselves.

Allow me to dispel that myth.

It’s okay to take care of yourself – to breathe – to exhale.

In my opinion, if you don’t exhale then you are probably almost on the verge of burnout.  It’s time to charge your batteries and take care of YOU.

So I believe there is a co-relation between slowing down and living your life out loud.

Do the things that matter most in life like spending time with your family, your loved ones.  Take the time to show the most important people in your life that they matter and you care.  Take the time to spend with friends.  Take that spontaneous trip.  In fact, I write this post on an airplane flying to Chicago.  My son is a pilot and he had sent me a text the night before stating he was flying to my town and if I wanted to catch a flight to Chicago with him since he had a few days off.  I pondered, and yes I was busy with work but I had the opportunity and I seized the moment – YES – I will!  Work will always be there, errands to run will be run, work will get done but precious moments with loved ones leave you with the memories of a lifetime.  So memories I created by going to Chicago with Kevin.

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite you!

Happiness, JOY, Uncategorized, inspiration, motivation Happiness, joy

Romcoms?  Starbucks?  Dinner with great friends?  Hiking in the mountains?  Dancing around the house…naked?  The holiday decorations at Macy’s?

This is a time to be unabashedly honest with yourself and NO JUDGEMENT ALLOWED!  Every time I sit down with someone in my cozy office (presently glowing with holiday decorations), this question inevitably comes up. 

“What brings you joy?” 

For a lot of people, the answer is, “I’m really not sure.”  I often get people staring at me in a state of wonder…wondering why answering this question hasn’t been more important to them before. 

Here is why taking the time to answer this question is indeed soooo important; it’s because, if we want to invite more JOY into our lives, we first have to know what makes us FEEL JOYOUS!  So how do we go about finding our joy?  The first step is to go out there and EXPLORE your world with fresh eyes, and a totally open heart.  Yes, I completely appreciate that this may sound a bit cliché and cheesy even.  However, hopefully you can get past that and really hear what I am asking you to do.  Exploring your world may mean, stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying new things.  If you find yourself sabotaging your attempts to explore, by hearing and inner monologue something like, “don’t try that you will hate it…” and so on, tell yourself, “thank you for sharing, but people change and I’m going to try it anyways.”

The fact that people are changing all the time, is a really important thing to take into account while exploring for joy.  People do change and something that you may not have enjoyed at one point may be something that you would really love now.   This is why having fresh eyes, and an open heart is so important while doing this!  One way to encourage yourself to explore your world a bit more, is to make a list of things you want to do this season.  It may look like…

1. Go Ice Skating, or a hike, or a walk on the beach (depends where you live)
2. See a holiday concert or show
3. Meet a friend for hot chocolate at a new coffee shop
4. Look at Ticketmaster and buy tickets to an event
5. Go to the Art Museum
6. Send out an inspiring email to your friends and family 
7. Try a winter sport that you thought you would never do
8. Go to a  holiday party that you would originally have declined
9. Go Christmas shopping in a town or city you haven’t been to yet
10. Take a kid (yours or borrow one) to see Santa

Your list can look like anything you want! So start exploring and getting to know yourself a bit more.  Start every morning with, “Hello JOY, this is _________, I want to formally invite you to spend the day with me.”  Will you feel a bit silly doing this?  Most likely, yes.  But, isn’t being silly a great way to invoke the energy of joy?

Wishing you a season of unlimited JOY!

Erin Williams, LMSW, BCD, CHt

www.healingplacecounseling.com

Erin Williams, Insight, JOY, inspiration, motivation joy

Hello Girlfriends – This post was sparked by a random seat that I happened to take at a local restaurant bar counter.  As I took my seat, I noticed a young man in his 20′s sitting there with a stack of note cards in front of him.  I immediately thought he is studying for something and needs to memorize.  I later found out that he was a helicopter pilot for the U.S. Marine Corp.   I was there with my daughter and as my daughter got up to step outside for a few minutes, he turned to me and asked this question….

How do you live your life to the fullest?

At first I was taken by surprise and didn’t really think he was talking to me.  In fact, I glanced over my back to make sure there wasn’t anyone else there.  I thought pretty deep question for a bar counter discussion with a total stranger….I even asked him if he was talking to me?  Of course he was!

SO

I paused and allowed my heart to speak from my TRUTH.  I looked within for a moment and answered:

“By living in the moment……”

My girlfriend Marci Calantonio has an eloquent way to bring people back to the moment and realize we truly ONLY have the moment.  She states, “look down at your feet – where are they planted right now”?  They are right in front of you and since you can actually see them then you are in this moment.  This is the only place you can be right now.  If your mind is someplace else, bring it back to where your feet are – you must be aligned with your mind, body and spirit.

You are only living where your feet are.

By focusing in the PAST you bring the past to the moment and the past doesn’t serve the moment.  We learn and gain insight from the past and then we release it to the…..

Proverbial Past Abyss.  Ciao for now baby!

To live in the total fulfillment we must stay focused in the HERE AND NOW…..

To be focusing on the FUTURE – not such a good idea either, for the future is not right here and right now.  It has its fair amount of uncertainty  and why even go there unless you are into stressing about the future.  Of course, don’t get me wrong – we must plan for the future and have it in our peripheral vision – not the same as worrying about the future and living in the future.

I chose to live in joy and gratitude for all my experiences (good, bad or indifferent) and I meet each new day with a smile.  Look into each experience which comes to you for some grain of happiness.

Be your own best friend and let the world know you’re happy to be alive!

If you ever get asked the question:

“How Do You Live Your Life To The Fullest?”

How will you answer?

I invite you to share your thoughts on living your life at its fullest……….

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite you!

Living in the moment, inspiration, motivation change, encouargement, inspiration, moment living, motivation

Hello Girlfriends – Tony Robbins (American self-help author and motivational speaker) stated, “We limit ourselves to our true potential.  We are afraid to ask for too much in life.  We have a sense of guilt to want it all so in turn we settle.  We settle for less pay, we settle for mediocracy, we settle for the so-so relationships.

THE QUESTION HERE IS, “WHAT ARE WE ASKING, AND ARE WE SPECIFIC IN WHAT WE ARE ASKING?

DO WE ASK WITH LIMITED BELIEFS?

DO WE ASK WITH UNCERTAINTY?

DO WE ASK KNOWING THAT WE ARE NOT GOING TO REALLY GET IT?

-OR-

DO WE ASK WITH CONVICTION!

DO WE ASK WITH CERTAINTY!

DO WE ASK KNOWING IT’S COMING OUR WAY!

It’s how we ask and what we believe that opens up the universe to start working in our favor.  I want to share a story of a homeless man.  I was walking home one evening and I was quickly being approached by this homeless man.  As he was approaching me, I thought, “Well what do I do?”  I don’t like to give the homeless cash for I’m not sure if they will buy much needed food with it.  The other voice inside me said, “Who am I to judge on what he’ll do with the money for in giving we receive.”  So he asked like I thought he would, “Do you have a quarter?”  Whatever can he do with simply a quarter I thought?  So I gave him exactly what he asked for – A QUARTER! 

YOU SEE LIFE WILL PAY WHATEVER PRICE YOU ASK OF IT!

So why not ask BIG and for exactly what you want?

–Think BIG and Ask BIG—

The late Jim Rohn who was mentor to Tony Robbins stated that we ask these questions to ourselves:

“WHY – WHY NOT- WHY NOT YOU – WHY NOT NOW!”

We are made in the image of GOD and our creator obviously thought BIG – He moved mountains, created oceans and made each one of us unique and different.  We so often want to stay in our boxes and think we can’t ask for too much.  We can’t ask too many questions, in fear of appearing unknowing.  We can’t laugh too much for we risk appearing the fool.  To reach out to another is to risk involvement.  To love is to risk being loved in return.  To try at all is to risk failure.  But risk we must, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. 

Use your imagination and ask away – ask with conviction and ask with belief in knowing there is power in the unspoken word.  Sit back and be in WONDER and AMAZEMENT……Enjoy the possibilities of the greatness of our DIVINE!

When GOD has a plan for you that’s BIGGER than you – no one….and I do mean NO ONE can stop you……

Stay focused and think BIG!

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite you!

Abundance, Comfort Zone, Core Belief, Determination, Think Big, encouragement, inspiration, motivation, power of receiving awakening, Determination, encouargement, inspiration, Manifestation, motivation, positive thinking

Hello Girlfriends – In Exodus Chapter 3 verse 14 it states, “God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.”  POWERFUL!  Short to the point and positive!

The power of the word and “I AM” statements has a lot to do with our manifestations in life.  Notice the words you speak to yourself and unto others.   Be aware, be observant of these words. 

I recently went to an early morning networking event – it began at 7:30 a.m.  It was my first experience with this group and there were about 30 women gathered around a breakfast table.  I observed, I listened and I kept hearing – “I am tired, it’s too early to think.”  Not only once did I hear this, but I heard it several times. 

We manifest what we speak.  The concept of time, morning time, I must still be tired.  If you think that upon waking you’re still tired then you will be tired upon awakening.  Tired is a state of mind and how can you be tired after having a night of rest unless you didn’t sleep well or have so much on your mind that you are exhausted from thought first thing in the morning.  If that’s the case, then it may be a good idea to figure out what’s keeping you awake at night and get those monsters out of the closet and resolved so you can sleep well at night. 

As I awaken each day, upon opening my eyes I have made it a routine to recite “I AM” statements:

I AM GRATEFUL

I AM HAPPY,

I AM FINANCIALLY FREE

I AM HEALTHY

I AM LOVE

Then I state, “May the possibilities of today excite me.”

I feel as if I am then armored for the day …..

Those powerful “I AM” statements are ways of telling the universe positive statements.  We are creatures of habit, and knowing this statement as truth then we can formulate negative habits or produce positive habits.  Manifesting positive “I AM” statements will produce positive outcome in your life.  It’s like giving gratitude for things in your life – the more gratitude you give the more gratitude will come into your life.  It’s the Law of Attraction .

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all!

Manifestation, encouragement, inspiration, motivation encouargement, I AM, inspiration, Manifestation, motivation

by Kelly Rudolph

Positive women love to have female friends but we also need a detailed list of what we’re looking for just like we do when we’re looking for an ideal significant other.

Drama queens need not apply and whiny victims can keep on walking because what positive women need for friends are other positive women!

Negative women drag us down even when we do our best to “help” them to be happier or more positive. YOU need healthy friends and I dare say you probably need to delete some of your current ones for reasons you know whether you acknowledge them or not.

Would YOU pass your own female friend test?

In order to be a friend to a positive woman, you need to be one already. Otherwise, you will drag them down if you attract them into a friendship at all.

NOTE: Many positive women have evolved from “victim” or “drama queen,” having done a lot of work on themselves. But just like looking for a significant other, we don’t need another “project.” We need a good, intelligent, supportive, friend who we can be intelligent, supportive and good to as well!

Here are some characteristics I have on my female friends list:

1. Understand anger, frustration and pain must be processed instead of glossed over
2. The ability and willingness to call me on my stuff (which helps me grow)
3. Takes responsibility for her life instead of blaming and complaining
4. Lives in daily gratitude
5. Good sense of humor
6. Accountable / Dependable (this comes with taking responsibility for her life)
7. Realizes an effective pity party is only 20 minutes in length
8. Forgives herself and learns lessons from each mistake
9. Takes care of herself – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually
10. Healthy self-esteem and personal boundaries
11. Trusts her gut feelings (intuition)

I know that women are powerful and can create their ideal life and become who they want to become but I also know not all women believe that and even fewer act on it. What I do is assist women to see themselves the way they really are and clarify the steps to become who they can and want to be.

Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts on this topic. I know it can be controversial. I ask you, “Are we really growing forward if we keep going back to where we came from?”

Grow forward with me,
Kelly

BIO:

Kelly Rudolph, creator of PositiveWomenRock.com online community creates a space and provides the tools for women to permanently release the programming that keeps them overworked, underpaid, overwhelmed, and dissatisfied in their relationships. She helps them create excellent communication skills, healthy relationships they desire and the ideal future they deserve! As “Your Personal Safety Trainer” in her company, SURVIVE! Self-Defense LLC (1999 – 2011), Kelly worked with men, women, teens and kids for 12 years and has been a popular TV and radio guest, written over 100 articles and 5 books. She has transformed her own life and is uniquely qualified to guide others on this journey. Visit her blog at www.PositiveWomenBlog.com and sign up for her weekly Positive Woman Tip FREE plus invitations to life-changing, online interviews. Facebook Fan Page www.Facebook.com/PositiveWomenRock.com

Friends, Girlfriends, inspiration, motivation awakening, encouargement, friendships, inspiration, motivation, women friendship

Hello Girlfriends – I wrote several blogs ago, “Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”  Well, I’m going to continue along these lines.  Asking for help is a little different than allowing to be taken care of by others. 

Knowing you can care for yourself but allowing to be taken care of.

To allow our significant others, our girlfriends, our mothers, fathers, sisters, family to come to us and do things for us is priceless.  Not asking for help but allow the “Power of Receiving” and accepting this gift of being taken care of.

You may be asking what do you mean by being taken care of?  Well, this can be a simple gesture from a neighbor taking out your trash, picking up your mail or newspaper, to having someone volunteer to fix you dinner and bring it over to you or watch your children for a few hours while you take care of yourself.

Such a lovely thing to have someone unexpectedly bring you flowers, or cook a meal since they know you’ve been extremely busy at work.

How do you react when someone wants to do something wonderful for you? 

Do you accept graciously and say “thank you.”

Do you feel as if you have to reciprocate immediately? 

Do you not know what to say and end up saying, “you didn’t have to do this for me but it’s very kind nonetheless?” 

Next time this happens to you watch and feel your reaction to this kindness. 

For myself, I tell that person how grateful I am for their presence in my life and I simply smile in joy.  I call these wonderful surprises in life “GOD WINKS.”

Now of course it goes both ways, you too can do a kind gesture for others.  It’s always so much more gratifying to give then to receive.

Would love to hear your comments on how you feel when someone comes along and wants to take care of you?

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all!

Friends, help, inspiration, love, motivation, power of receiving being taken care of

Hello Girlfriends – I read the book, “The Four Agreements” when it first came out, and the book changed my perspective and the way I looked at things – It came to me at a very trying time of my life.  Since the Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz has discovered the “Fifth” Agreement.  I can tell you that I truly live by these “Five Agreements” and that living in the moment with these agreements close to my heart has brought me much comfort and peace…..

Hope by sharing these with you that you too will find comfort and peace!

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word – Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally – Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment.  It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to when you are sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

5. Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen – Don’t believe yourself or anybody else.  Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear:  Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind the words, and you will understand the real message.

The Fifth Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Manifestation, The Five Agreements, encouragement, inspiration, motivation awakening, change, encouargement, Five Agreements, inspiration, motivation, positive thinking

Todays guest contributor is Amanda Owen - she is the author of The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve (Tarcher/Penguin) Learn more here www.ThePowerofReceiving.com

I used to chase after my goals as if they were prey and I was the hunter. Whether I focused with laser-like intensity, wrote a detailed grammatically correct wish-list or made bargains with God, I was a person who was on task. No half-hearted attempts from me!

When the goal-object of my affection—whether a desired writing project, a person or other goals—didn’t manifest, I would try to figure out what had gone wrong, what I could improve. Then, like Sisyphus rolling that boulder up the mountain, I would gather my energy for another try. It never occurred to me that only 50% was required from me to manifest my goal.

Most of us have been taught that if you want something, you should go after it. And it’s true that without initiative and activity, you will have a hard time accomplishing much of anything. But have you ever wondered what your goal wants from you?

If you think of your goal as checking you out to see if you are a good fit, it makes sense that being attractive to your goal is just as important as concentrating on what you want.

Follow these seven goal-writing tips and you will be well on your way to achieving your dreams.

1. Write Down Only One Goal

The reason that I advise starting with only one goal is so that you can give it your undivided attention. Many, many goals never get enough umph to manifest simply because too little attention is paid to them. If you focus on several goals at the same time, it’s a bit like double-dating. Can you blame a goal for feeling lukewarm about you or wanting to find someone else—someone who will appreciate it and give it lots of attention?

2. Write Down Your Goal in One Sentence

Writing your goal in one sentence forces you to be clear about what you want. People love it when you are concise. Nobody likes to play guessing games or to be held hostage listening to a long rambling list of requests or demands! It’s the same with your goal. So make sure your sentence is specific and concise.

3. Give Your Goal a Time Frame

Deadlines give you something to aim for whether you are training for a marathon, planning a wedding or finishing a work project. A goal is more likely to spring into action when it has ten days to deliver than if it has an unlimited amount of time to get it done.

4. Your Goal Should Be Simple and Specific

The more specific you are, the more your goal has to work with. This is true for any conversation or any relationship. But too much information up front can be a bit arduous for your goal. If you are on a first date, for example, and your date presents a long list of requirements that include specifics about love-making ability, plans for children and salary must-haves, would you think twice about seeing that person again?

5. Don’t Get Hung Up on How Your Goal Is Worded

If it’s not spelled correctly or the grammar is incorrect and you have a double negative in your sentence, don’t worry about it unless your goal is to be an English teacher. Just start the process.

6. Your Goal Should Be Measurable

You need to know when you have actually achieved your goal. For example, if your goal is to get a job, you will know whether you have a job or you don’t. If your goal is to be happy or to feel good, ask yourself how you will know that you have reached your goal.

7. Don’t Limit Yourself

Don’t decide ahead of time that your goal is unrealistic. Write exactly what you want. You are starting a relationship with your goal. You and the goal will work out some of the finer details as you get to know one another.

Once you write your goal down, set it aside. You are now in a relationship with your goal. Be a good partner; be kind and considerate. Listen carefully so that you can receive what your goal is saying to you.

My boulder-rolling days are behind me. I now know that I am in charge of 50% and my goal has the other 50%. And I am always interested and eager to hear what my goal wants from me. It’s a relief to have the input and help!

What does your goal want from you?

Amanda Owen Bio

Amanda Owen is an author, speaker, and consultant. Her research during the last twenty years into the nature of receptivity and its link to manifestation led her to develop a system that helps people manifest the lives they want by developing their capacity to receive. She reports her findings in her latest book The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve (Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2010) Best-selling author Christiane Northrup, M.D. says, “The Power of Receiving is brilliant, elegant, profound and enormously practical.” Learn more about Amanda Owen and The Power of Receiving at www.ThePowerofReceiving.com

Manifestation, inspiration, motivation, power of receiving goals, power of receiving