This morning, as usual, I poured my steaming coffee into my favorite cracked polka dot mug and stumbled over to my computer to view the latest news from friends, family, world leaders, roof installers and Viagra peddlers. As I scanned through the onslaught of “forwards” which I’ve begun to think has become our newest art form, sometimes, sadly replacing more personal communication, I came across one marked –  THEY TEACH IT AT STANFORD…

It got my attention.

 It purported to be a lecture taught by the head of psychiatry at Stanford University – He said that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. Apparently we girls connect differently – provide support systems – which, in turn create more serotonin – and this combats depression.

In other words sharing with our soul sisters – is good for our souls.  Duh! I’ve known that for a long time – kind of instinctive. But I never knew it was a quantifiable asset to my physical health, like jogging or going to the gym.  So now every time I hang out or schmooze with my gal pals I feel just a mite healthier…

One of the greatest and most surprising gifts that I’ve recently received on this subject was the barrage of unconditional love I’ve been receiving from women all over the world who have read my memoir – GOOD GIRLS DON”T. I have been seriously blown away by the sisterhood of young women who got pregnant before marriage, in the era prior to Roe vs. Wade – aka “girls in trouble.” I’ve seen first hand how the shame of this early trauma has impacted women for lifetimes and how so many have lived in silence for years. Who knew? Not me. I’m receiving heartfelt messages on a daily basis from middle-aged women who are only now speaking out and sharing their feelings because they were told they should never “tell.” I’m often asked what advice I would give to women today – based on this early experience – and my answer continues to be the same. Open up and talk to someone. Keeping secrets is highly over-rated and can often lead to a life less lived…

Hard to believe that an entire generation of women don’t have a clue what we pioneers endured. I, for one, am happy that the starched and crinolined era that supported that kind of thinking is behind us and so many choices are now available. But, hey, that’s just me talking. Keep shining the light into the dark corners and you might just find treasures you never knew existed. And above all — hold your BFF close to you – because she may be the best of the treasures.

GOOD GIRLS DON’T is a deeply personal first-hand account of what it was like to be trapped in an unwanted pregnancy at the close of an era where home economics took precedence over sex education. I gave up my child for adoption —-found him 40 years later…but this is where the typical adoption story begins…and ends. My book is available on Amazon and www.goodgirlsdontbook.com.

Nancy Uncategorized, featured guests