Photography by David Lawn

The Parable of the Raft is probably one of the most famous parables taught by the Buddha. He compared his own teachings to a raft that could be used to cross the river, but should be discarded when one made it safely to the other shore. 

A man is trapped on one side of a fast-flowing river. Where he stands, there is great danger and uncertainty – but on the far side of the river, there is safety. But there is no bridge or ferry for crossing. So the man gathers logs, leaves, twigs, and vines and is able to fashion a raft, sturdy enough to carry him to the other shore. By lying on the raft and using his arms to paddle, he crosses the river to safety. 

The Buddha then asks the listeners a question: “What would you think if the man, having crossed over the river, then said to himself, ‘Oh, this raft has served me so well, I should strap it on to my back and carry it over land now?’” The Monk replied that it would not be very sensible to cling to the raft in such a way. 

The Buddha continues: “What if he lay the raft down gratefully, thinking that this raft has served him well, but is no longer of use and can thus be laid down upon the shore?”

The monks replied that this would be the proper attitude.

The Buddha concluded by saying, “So it is with my teachings, which are like a raft, and are for crossing over with — not for seizing hold of.”  

So at that I crossover to another part of my life – no need to cling to the things you love but to let them free in order for them to take on a new life for themselves.  

I have followed different personal development blogs over the years and have grown and learned from so many of them. It’s all been said, in one blog or another. The advice offered is splendid but how many of us truly want to create change? How many truly want to get out of their comfort zones? Each one offers different perspectives, different solutions to issues, different ways on how to “get happy.”

So now I will include my list of perspectives on life and what I’ve learned through my amazing journey with MakeGirlfriends.

My list of transformation and growth

1. Live Simply – if that means put everything in storage and move every 4-6 months – go for it – it’s not all about the destination but the journey that makes us who we are. Ghandi stated, “Live simply so others can simply live.”

2. Live in the Present Moment - for this is truly what we have is the “moment”. We may have illusions of time but it’s all about the moment, I have a very good friend that would remind me, where are your shoes right now – I would say right here – that is where the moment lies.

3. No Judgment – stop judging others and it will be easier to stop judging yourself.

4. Forgive and Let Go - forgiveness is an act of self love and to truly forgive allows us to let go.

5. No Obligations – meaning do things out of LOVE and not GUILT.

6. LOVE – really and truly LOVE – for LOVE is the basis of everything beautiful and we are LOVE at our core! See through a child’s eyes. Be thrilled and excited about life. Find miracles everywhere. We are all capable of grand LOVE. Open your heart to LOVE!

7. NO FEAR – There are 2 human emotions FEAR or LOVE – you choose! When you operate from fear there is no love and when you operate from love there is no fear.

8. You are the Author of your life – Live out your life as if you are writing your life story.

9. Too much FUN is never enough! – no need to explain this one so give yourself permission to have FUN.

10. Stop and smell the flowers always – not when there is time but always; make yourself STOP!

11. Be TRUE to yourself – live in that authentic truth to yourself and you will never have to remember the lies to keep a story straight.

12. Live by the Four Agreements – 1) Impeccable Word, 2) Don’t take anything personally, 3) Never make assumptions, 4) Always do your best.

13. Live, Laugh and Dance as if today was your last day on earth.

14. Buy the SHOES!

15. Courage – never be afraid to tell the truth for it takes courage to speak in the truth and can change a life.

Brené Brown, Ph.D. writes, “Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’ Over time, this definition has changed, and today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic. Heroics is important and we certainly need heroes, but I think we’ve lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.”

16. Take care of your body – You only have one body and it’s your temple; look good and feel good for yourself first. Exercise and eating healthy is key.

17. I AM Statements – the power of the word from the beginning of time. I AM THAT I AM!

18. Gratitude – live in an attitude of gratitude – the more we are grateful for the more will come into our lives that we can be grateful of. Know that I am grateful for all of you that have followed me and have taken the time to comment on my blog posts.

19. Being Happy is a CHOICE – you choose!

20. Peace, Harmony, Happiness and LOVE to each one of you – living in love and light.

In case anyone is asking why are you letting MakeGirlfriends.com go? I have been thinking of letting go for a many months now and here are some of the reasons:

1. When I realized that habit was taking over my passion for writing posts that’s a true sign to observe and do something different. Habit makes you continue to do things over and over and expecting different results – wait, isn’t that the definition of Insanity?

2. I spent so much time, energy and money on this website and I started to cling to that fact instead and I continued to post blogs due to that fact.

3. Letting Go = Failure (EGO talking) – In reality – LETTING GO = FREEDOM

4. Trusting that when you say “no” to what doesn’t serve you, life says “yes” to your greatness.

I read recently a quote from Abraham: There are no choices that are really a detour that will take you far from where you’re wanting to be because your Inner Being is always guiding you to the next, and the next, and the next. So don’t be concerned that you may make a fatal choice because there aren’t any of those. You are always finding your balance. It’s a never ending process.

I have made incredible relationships through the blogging community, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Corinne Edwards, Kelly Rudolph, Maureen Simon and Nicole Rushin. I have not met Galen Pearl, Alex Blackwell, David Stephens, Martin and Pam Clooney, Irving from Hans of Harmony and Debbie Bills. All of these people work very hard on their blogs and I celebrate their work.

So now I take all the time I’ve spent on blogging and writing for my blog and will dedicate that time to writing my book that has been in progress for about 2 years now. I am in the creative collaboration stage so I am a little reluctant to give you the title. I ask that you stay in touch for I would love to hear about your lives. I will continue to follow your blog posts but won’t feel the pressure of having to respond, picking and choosing what I would like to read. Living in line with my truth. I will now have more time with face to face and eye to eye interaction with people I meet.

So now I introduce you to the first person that came to my “heart” Nathalie Villeneuve. She started the group on facebook named “The Women of Facebook” and she will continue this beautiful space of love and passion with MakeGirlfriends.com. Nathalie will not be changing the name of the site.

I will have the pleasure of introducing Nathalie next week to you all. My final day will be August 1, 2012.

I introduce you to Nathalie Villeneuve

Peace, Harmony, Happiness, Love to all of you and……as always, I sign off by saying:

Accountability, Appreciation, Celebration, Change, Closure, Comfort Zone, encouragement, Friends, gratitude, Happiness, inspiration, JOY, Living in the moment, love, motivation, new beginnings, passion, Power of words, Spirit of a woman, The Five Agreements, Think Big, Truth acceptance, appreciation, awakening, change, encouargement, friendships, Girlfriends, gratitude, Happiness, illumination, impeccable word, insight, inspiration, joy, love, motivation, positive thinking, revelation, Self love, Truth

Words of Nicole Rushin

If I can write honestly for a moment – I have a birthday coming up in only 9 months! I know I will be laughed at by many of you who have passed this milestone, but for some reason this number bothers me, it itches, I want to throw it off.

The thought of being 39 for the last time sits with me, shakes her head, gives me a sideways glance and says, ‘You’re not exactly where I thought you would be.’ As if I have disappointed my demanding inner child.

I want new pictures taken for my online profiles, but I am afraid they won’t look the way I see myself. To be quite frank, when I look in the mirror I still see a young face. For the first time in my life I see smoothness and radiance. Where did this light come from?

I keep hearing that it only matters how we see ourselves, but there is some disconcerting imbalance between what I see and the feeling of not being somewhere. Where is this somewhere? Can I be radiant without reaching?

Oprah used to celebrate women in their forties. Hmph! I guess she bypassed forty and left all of us behind. I see no Oil of Olay ads in my future anyway. Maybe there is still time to make her recommended book list before the clock winds down.

Where is the celebration? The triumph? Balloons? Will there be those? Maybe I can just put in my ear buds and listen to Jack Johnson on a beach somewhere. Again – that somewhere. And how can I schedule this vacation without my inner child finding me?

I guess she’s kind of cute anyway with her snow blonde hair and curious blue eyes. (Maybe she is no harder on me than I ever was on her.) And what a dreamer!  On the swing set alone she pumps her legs with all her might until finally, finally she is airborne and flying in that place of maybe and what if.

What if people had purple faces? What if we had three arms or what would life be like with no moon?

She has the ability to be with no place to be.

I look out the window as she carries rocks to the wild petunias. She tells me the Mimi Spirits need them. I believe her and later on I will help her carry rocks so the spirits can slip in and out of our world.

I suppose my thirties have been an accumulation of finding my somewhere, of never arriving, packing my bags, leaving, staying and finally realizing that life is never about the arrival. You find your free space, your somewhere, when you finally stop pumping your legs.

“So child, if we are not exactly where you thought we would be where should we go?”

She pulls at her blue plaid dress because it itches and she wants to throw it off. She jumps off the bottom step like it is the leap of her death, and says, “Let’s go put words together like we did yesterday. You know the way they lean like the little baby cosmos on the fence!” She pinches her fingers together to show me how small they are.

“Where will we get the words?” I ask.

“They’r under the rocks – yu know,” she pulls her dress over her head. I love the way it hangs on her nose and lingers in her sweaty hair. Such freedom. Digging for words under rocks is always better in dirt stained underwear.

At 39 I guess I am realizing there was never anywhere to go. If I had ever waited long enough life would have blown me where I needed to be. People and faces come in on unpredictable winds. People leave, situations change. We create goals and intend our plans, climb a ladder to nowhere only to realize our somewhere was already everywhere.

And here is the radiance. Blue jeans and farm fencing. Dogs that come when you call their names. Pillows! Pillows everywhere, rain and tiny drops of cream and sugar in your coffee… (I am pinching my fingers together to show you how tiny the drops are.)

Turning the corner I pick up the blue plaid dress from the summer lawn. Maybe this itchy number was about freeing my inner child all along. Maybe it was about me believing in her dream.

Believing that the somewhere place could simply be here.

Bio

Nicole Rushin quietly manages her blog Writing as Loud as I Can @ nicolerushin.com where she writes and talks about poetry, dreams, growth, her journey of writing and what it feels like to let go of the pen. She publishes a monthly pdf e-book called Dream-Speak.

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Hello Girlfriends – “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

This statement from Ralph Waldo Emerson resounds in my heart.  This is the basis of friendships – the reason for those close bonds.  So many times when we’re going through trials in our life and we seek advice from our girlfriends they tell us things that we’re not ready to hear, so we usually don’t hear.  I’m telling you from experience since this has happened to me.  My friend Cheryl last year gave me very sound advice, but at that time I was not willing or wanting to hear.  So I incurred more heartache and pain but like I said, I wasn’t ready to hear.  Cheryl has her own website Divine Effects.  She listens and gives sound advice when she feels moved to do so.

Over a year later Cheryl happened to call me after I had been thinking of her.  The same lingering problem that I was battling a year earlier was still there.  She gave me sound advice, in fact the same advice, but this time I was READY to hear and listen to her words.

It was like an AH-HA moment!  I finally got it and my life is changing before my eyes.  So in life, keep living in your TRUTH and don’t be afraid to speak your TRUTH to others, they may not hear it at the time but there will come a time when their heart is ready to listen and hear!

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all!

encouragement, inspiration, Truth awakening, friendships, hear, illumination, insight, listen

Hello Girlfriends – The definition of responsible is having a capacity for moral decisions and therefore accountable; capable of rational thought or action. 

I pose two questions….

Are we as women responsible?  If not, how can we be more responsible?

Of course there are the extremes – we as women can be too responsible and not have any fun or allow ourselves to even enjoy life because of too many responsibilities.  We must have balance in life!

Are we being responsible in taking care of ourselves?

Do we exercise, eat healthy meals? 

Are we being responsible in taking care of our needs – or do we ignore our needs and put everyone else’s needs first?  This is part of responsibility.

As women we should also be responsible with our hearts.  It states in Proverbs – “guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”  My friend Angie in Indiana mentioned, this doesn’t mean to not let anyone in, but to be careful.  We must be responsible to our heart in order for it to heal and to grow.  Getting too close too soon to people that have hurt us would not be responsible.  Trust me, I have been one of those people that have gotten too close too soon and the heart gets broken again.  Even when we want to love them and care for them – as my girlfriend stated – sometimes it’s best to love and care from a distance.  This may be the responsible thing to do!

Is there an area of our life that we’re being irresponsible with? 

Do we need to get back in balance?

It may be time to do so…..

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all!

inspiration, Responsibility balance of life, illumination, inspiration, Responsibility

Hello Girlfriends – Have you ever hit a brick wall?  I’m sure you know how it feels….  Sometimes it may take your breath away and at times it’s a wakeup call.

You possibly can be in a dead end job and wake up asking yourself, “what am I still doing here?”  What are the risks of trying to find another job that may be fulfilling; or better yet start your own business?  To start your own business requires risk – risk requires – faith and trust that you are following your heart.  This is where you have to ask yourself, “Am I pursuing my PASSION?”  This also requires letting go of FEAR. 

Are you living in a place that you really do not like?  Do you feel as if you have the travel bug but are afraid to get in your car and travel the nation in hopes of finding a place that enhances your life style?  It’s easier said than done to get in your car and travel the nation.  Of course, it requires money and time.  How about saving your pennies and cutting back on a few things in order to allow your dream of travel to come true?  Why not – Because You Can!

Sometimes the brick wall comes in the form of a divorce.  In your eyes, your marriage is moving along nicely, everyone seems happy and then you hear the words – “I’m not in love with you anymore.”  The brick wall!  What do you do now? 

• Go in a corner and cry and cry some more? 
• Live in the pain of what has happened? 
• Or maybe do something positive for yourself? 

Sometimes events in your life have no rhyme or reason – take it for what it is.  Surround yourself with girlfriends that care about you.  Get in touch with family members that can lift you up.  In fact surround yourself with BALCONY people.  These brick walls hit all of us at some point in life.  The true question is?

• How will you handle your brick wall?

I try to take it for what it is and adapt a positive way of living.  How many of us can be truly grateful for our brick walls?  We as a society are thankful for wonderful things that happen but how many can say they are thankful for the not so wonderful? 

When I look at my life – I can say that it is in those hard times – the brick walls that I learned the most about myself.  I had to rely on myself and get acquainted with me.  Remember in order to love others, we must love ourselves first.  These were the times that I hit the brick wall so hard that it literally woke me up from impact. 

• The choice is ours – - – -
• Are we going to hit the brick wall and have the wall knock us out?
• Are you going to hit the brick wall and have an “aha” moment?

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all – even when we hit the brick wall!

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Hello Girlfriends – Mark Twain affirmed, “Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” 

We all have people in our lives that either inspire us or bring us down.  I call the ones that bring us down basement people and I call the ones that pick us up balcony people.  The balcony people triumph in your accomplishments, they are your cheerleaders, the ones that will encourage you and bring you to new heights.  These are the people I choose to surround myself with.

You can pick them out pretty quickly – be around a person a few times and you should have them pegged by their conversation.  The balcony people will find positive in even the not so good situations – they will see the light even in the dark.  Then there’s the basement people – these are the ones that will complain, can’t see the good in anything and seem to want to bring you down with them.  They will find reason to complain and find everything wrong with a situation.  They exude negativity and won’t be happy until they transfer their negative ideas and energy to someone else.

Bottom line – they will drain you and you’ll feel exhausted after leaving their presence.  Sometimes you’ll even feel as if something hit you.  They are the joy busters.  The great news is that we have a choice to either be around these types of people or not.

So ask yourself, do I want to be around balcony people and have them lift me up or do I want to be around basement people and go down to the dark abyss of negativity with them.  Now ask yourself what type of person am I?  Am I a balcony person – singing, dancing on the platform of life or am I a basement person bringing others down and stealing their and most importantly your own joy?  It’s time to go out there and dance to sing our songs of joy!

May the possibilities of today excite us!

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